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oldghost

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Reply with quote  #51 
I think I have found a possible lasting solution to what's " Hexing " me.

I was able to track down and locate a " Wandering Exorcist "

 Father Damien.

Seems like something bad happened to him at some point in the past and he is currently  " undomiciled " and unaffiliated with any peticular order.

Other than his tendency to frequently take a sip of something called " EverClear "  from a silver flask ( Maybe to keep his thinking clear as he fights demons? )

he seemed very knowledgeable in " The Hidden Arts " : ( his spooky words, not mine. ) 

He came prepared.

He had a " Portal " with him made of sacred leather that contained his tools of the trade.

Many religious articles, candles, lengths of cloth and of course holy water.

I fully debriefed him on the situation with my Figs and the words and possible actions of the old Italian woman.

He wasted no time.  After taking a rather large long swallow of his " EverClear " he got to work.

The first thing he did was ask me to light candles.  I asked him: "is it to ward off evil spirits? he said: " No, there's lot of mosquitoes
here."  ( he noticed my Citronella candles.... )  

The second thing he did was spit on the spooky headless statue.

He then grabbed a handful of soil from one of my fig trees and threw it onto the statue.

After the spitting and soil throwing he leaned down and whispered something in the area of where the ears would be ( if it had a head )

Reaching deeply into his " Portal " ( which looked like a bag to me.) he removed item, after item, whispering something to each one.

Placing a Cross here, sprinkling some Holy water there, lighting one of his spooky human figure candles there, and giving the
headless statue more spits.

The most incredible thing is the old Italian woman that I believe s the cause of all this " just happened " to walk by as Father Damien
was preforming his service!

She did not slow down or speed up. She just looked at us, looked at what we were doing and started laughing loudly. and I mean
loudly, never thought an 85 year old woman could laugh that loud.

Boy, was I shaken, I assume Father Damien was too because he took another large swallow of his " EverClear ".

After a few more minutes of chant and relic placement, Father Damien said he could do no more at that time.

He said he would have to leave the headless statue there because it was too tainted to remove ( maybe all that spit and soil?)
but would return in a couple of days to do so and to also gauge the "energy " on my patio.

I will post pictures of his handiwork in my next and hopefully last post on this subject.

















Attached Images
jpeg Father_Damiem_1.jpg (411.84 KB, 300 views)
jpeg Father_Damiem_2.jpg (266.22 KB, 284 views)
jpeg Father_Damiem_Bag.jpg (299.52 KB, 292 views)
jpeg Father_Damiem_Bag_2.jpg (324.56 KB, 287 views)


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Nick.
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Reply with quote  #52 

I gotta hand it to you Nick !    ; )

nypd5229

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Reply with quote  #53 
So now we know what happened to the priest from the Exorcist.

I don't know what to stay farther away from...The Everclear, the priest, the woman, or the doll!

Hope you made a donation to the Church of Wandering Drunks Ex Communicated for Drinking Too Much!

Please make your donation in the form of nips. No donations turned down, no matter what type!

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Dominick
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udaman

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Reply with quote  #54 
Here's an interesting web page for " La Vecchia Religione".

Sicilian Strega

I'm second gen Sicilian/American, I don't carry those superstitions, but they're interesting to know.

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Andrew Bacchi
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OttawanZ5

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Reply with quote  #55 
Spooky....
Did you notice that a sip of " EverClear " changed the exorcist hair colour from grey to black as he turned his face towards the steps in the 2nd picture above!!

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nypd5229

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Reply with quote  #56 
Nick in all seriousness.

Did he ever tell you what happened or what caused him to become unaffiliated with any order or church?

I only ask this because growing up Catholic and being very religious as a child and young teen, I was going to go to Seminary school to become a Priest. I am always curious as to why others choose different paths or are forced to do otherwise.

What traumatic event occurred that forced him out?



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Dominick
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oldghost

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Reply with quote  #57 
Dominick,

I'm glad you asked.

It is a very sad, but cautionary tale.

Even though Father Damien possessed  great power and his mind was keen,
I noticed he appeared to be a mere husk of the man he told me he once was.

Hesitantly I asked him " Father, what happened in the past to cause you to
come into your current situation ?

I didn't want to be rude but I thought perhaps there was something I could do to
help him.

He turned to me with an ashen look, took a long swallow of his " fortifier "
and in a hushed tone he said that years ago at the height of his power and strength
he fought the two most Vile Hideous Creatures to ever roam the earth.

He said, their power was beyond belief, their visage so terrifying , and their
screams so soul sucking that he barely escaped with his life!

Of course he lost the battle, he was NO match for one let alone TWO of
these Hell- Spawn creatures.

The battle left him, battered, weak, and a mere shell of the man he once was.

I turned to him, with a saddened face  and asked Who or What were theses things?

He finished the final drop of his  " fortifier " and in a defeated tone said:


My Ex- Wife and her Mother.

  

  




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Nick.
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OttawanZ5

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Reply with quote  #58 
oldghost
By chance, have you been writing comedy ghost stories or planning?

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rafed

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Reply with quote  #59 
Since when does a Catholic priest have a wife?


nypd5229

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Reply with quote  #60 
When the bishop isn't looking!

No, No I'm sorry bad joke.  I was just using myself as an example. I'm not sure he ever mentioned what religion he was a apart of.

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Dominick
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udaman

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Reply with quote  #61 
You've heard of Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello?  Now meet Nick and Dominick.   :)




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Andrew Bacchi
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oldghost

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Reply with quote  #62 
Well Ladies and gentlemen,  

Father Damien and I have done everything we could to negate " The curse "  the old Italian woman has i believe placed on my Figs.

I believe my innocent figgies are now safe from her powers.

I should be able to sleep comfortably now content in the knowledge that my Unknown Large Yellow, my Battaglia, and my Calabrese Long figs are not going to be further subjected to abnormal growth or the taking on of anatomical features.

Between Father Damien's chanting, whispering, stomping of his feet and his copious spitting ( God, there was so much spitting ) I think my fig trees are now able to withstand any further supernatural assault.

The freaky Headless statue is still there, still staring at me with it's headless eyes but Father Damien insists he will remove it after he has recharged his " spiritual energies " 
and bought some more " Fortifier " 

What a surreal experience this has been

I want to thank everyone that offered their assistance and kind words of support, they were what helped me get thur these past few sleepless nights.

Here are the pics of the " Shields of Protection " that are now standing vigilant  guard over my patio.

Father Damien swears that no evil will be able to now breach the patio perimeter, 
but if it does, he will give me a 15% discount. 






















 

Attached Images
jpeg Protected_Fig3.jpg (420.93 KB, 14 views)
jpeg Protected_Fig2.jpg (410.05 KB, 225 views)
jpeg Protected_Fig.jpg (396.25 KB, 220 views)
jpeg Woman_Candle.jpg (459.50 KB, 221 views)
jpeg Horns_6.jpg (298.77 KB, 216 views)
jpeg Horns_3.jpg (379.66 KB, 218 views)
jpeg Horns_5.jpg (304.26 KB, 219 views)
jpeg Horns_1.jpg (271.76 KB, 216 views)


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Nick.
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Reply with quote  #63 
Well Nick i hope now your figs will ripen and look like a fig should look now that the Indian woman oops i meant Italian woman curse has been taken care off.
As for undomiciled (homeless man) Father Damien i hope also for his services you brought out a hose , soap, and a bristle brush so he can properly wash his feet !
 ; )

I enjoyed reading your thread .
udaman

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Reply with quote  #64 
I got a black cat bone
I got a mojo too
I got the Johnnie Conkaroo
I'm gonna mess with you

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Andrew Bacchi
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satellitehead

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Reply with quote  #65 

@Andrew, that's "I got a John the Conquerer root" ;)
   (Alternately, "I got a John the Conqueroo")


@Dom, that guy looks like he could be kin to Iggy Pop.


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Jason
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oldghost

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Reply with quote  #66 
satellitehead,

You Think?


Attached Images
jpeg Father_Damiem_X.jpg (270.42 KB, 193 views)


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Nick.
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Reply with quote  #67 

See: http://www.iggy-pop.com/layout/iggy-links.jpg


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Jason
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udaman

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Reply with quote  #68 
Jason,

I always wondered the meaning behind it.  Thanks.


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Andrew Bacchi
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nypd5229

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Reply with quote  #69 
Jason

Your dead on with that!

Nick

Send that guy my way...

If he can get rid of his mother-in-law, I have a bottle of Night Train with his name all over it for mine! LOL

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Dominick
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texascockatoos

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Reply with quote  #70 
Hook Em Horns - Go UT




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Cathy
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nypd5229

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Reply with quote  #71 
Now Now

That's just Texas Longhorn Propaganda! LOL

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Dominick
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texascockatoos

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Reply with quote  #72 
Exactly.  How can you believe anything from a drunk priest. 

OldGhost -  I don't want this to come off wrong but if this is that serious for you, why don't you get another priest (who's not drinking).

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Cathy
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Figluvah

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Reply with quote  #73 
Here is my take on this whole B/S thread

Attached Images
jpeg The_Joker__s_Calling_Card_by_No_Sig.jpg (35.53 KB, 41 views)


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oldghost

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Reply with quote  #74 
In regards to the question why didn't I get a real priest, do you have any idea of the paperwork involved in having an Exorcistism even considered ?

And just to make it clear on this forum, I never wrote "Father Damien " was a priest. I .tried to make that clear with an earlier disclaimer of " unaffiliated with any peticular order ".  

The compelling reason I hired him was his low cost. Other than a few dollars and some figs ( he kept eating my ripe figs: when I asked him to please not eat them all, 
he said: " I gotta make sure nothings hiding in these here tasty figs. I want to be thorough and not leave any evil behind "   

And to the members that think I have been joking on this thread, 

All I can say in my defense is that Something has been affecting my figs and causing them to look like freaks of nature ,

And Someone entered into my patio and left a spooky headless statue there.

And I have a mean acting old Italian woman down the block that seems to  hate my fig trees

If your were on the receiving end of this wouldn't you take extreme measures ? 

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Nick.
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Reply with quote  #75 
When you have that many figs you are going to see some odd things and attract weird people. Take Jon for example ;)
I think the extra long stems are from low light conditions. And the Jlo fig looks great to me!
How did you find Father Damien anyway?
My suggestion is to keep them up on the roof, they will do better in more sun anyway. And then no-one will take an unusual interest in them, except maybe heli pilots. 
If you want a lucky plant I have one that you can put in that container with the fig. I don't believe in luck but that does not mean it won't work for you.



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7a, DE "While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words. Dying to believe in what you heard. I was staring straight into the shining sun"
Caneyscud

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Reply with quote  #76 
Now that is just not right!

Here's the cure



Gig'em Aggies!



Quote:
Originally Posted by texascockatoos
Hook Em Horns - Go UT




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texascockatoos

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Reply with quote  #77 
Are you an aggie?
My husband is an aggie.

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Cathy
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Caneyscud

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Reply with quote  #78 
You mean am I a Fighting Texas Aggie?

Class of 78.  - Rednecks and Good Bull!

A BS in BC




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oldghost

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Reply with quote  #79 
Martin,

I recently noticed an interesting thing.

On my this thread whereas most viewers/comments only spoke about the figs or the fig rekated items, you made a comment about  " Father "  Damien's feet.


Which I thought was just a bit odd..

I met the man, spent time with the man, hired the man to help with my fig " issues " and did not notice his feet condition.
( guess I had more pressing things on my mind; ( namely a crafty old Italian woman ) 

After you posted that comment, out of mere curiosity I took a look to see what you were referring to.

The real interesting thing is casually, most people including myself would not move their eyes down the photo to look at " Father " Damien's feet.  
He is such a interestingly dressed fellow, that his attire grabs most if not all of one's attention..

You, on the other hand... had to use a Photo Management program ( to blow up the photo to get a really good look at his feet.

Thought that was odd, but I tried to put that creepy little nugget of feet information out of my mind.

Which brings us to this post.


Once again the main or not complete focus of most viewers is the roof, all the water that pooled up there, what type of figs am I growing, how do they look,..etc.
( all factors uncommon enough to inform/interest most viewers )

But with you, not only did you notice - like an Afghanistan Blood Hound I might add -   the only photo  - one tiny thumbnail actually -  not " Hot Linked " you must have really perked up when you read the file name  " Wet feet " that you went out of your way to not only click on it, but once again use a photo management program to enlarge the photo enough to get a really close look at my feet to see the length of my toenails
( they were underneath a foot and a half of water after all.)

Now, don't take this the wrong way. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with your possible infatuation with  feet or toes.

To each his or her own, that's my motto.

Some people have a strange obsession with figs, some with feet, and some both...

Who am I to judge?

In that light, I offer you a tasty picture, one that I am certain you ( and only you ) will deeply appreciate.

Enjoy.


Warning:  extremely graphic photo, unless you're Martin, or like to look at feet, DO NOT click on the photo.




P.S. Martin, you know I love you and am just having fun right?

Attached Images
jpeg Martin's_Eye_Candy..jpg (176.28 KB, 19 views)
jpeg Martin_at_home..jpg (161.43 KB, 17 views)


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Nick.
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texascockatoos

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Reply with quote  #80 
Now that is just disgusting. Both pictures.
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Cathy
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Reply with quote  #81 
Hi Nick,
 no i have no infatuation with feet.
Also no i used no program other to observe those pictures you mention.

Your picture showing Father Damien one could easily see his feet in those sandals and the condition of them .
Ive seen those type of feet on many many a homeless man and woman.

Your other picture you mention with feet toe nails is also easily seen.
After all its just feet -water and a hose reel.

My job before retirement taught me to be observant i suppose . 
I worked as a train conductor, flagman. motorman, switchman in Chicago on most of the lines .
I had guns and other various weapons in my face, spat at , egged, etc.
Iv'e seen ,experienced and talked with many different walks of life in almost 30 years at that job so with that in mind even looking at a picture i observe it . 
One quick experience that i remember like yesterday from back in early 80s was when i was flaggin in the subway was sharing a few peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches on Christmas Eve sitting on a cold cement subway floor with a homeless man that had absolutely nothing but asked me in a unusual kind way if i had anything to eat.
We ate and afterwards i listened to him talk as we smoked and then we parted ways.
Everyone has a story.





VeryNew2Figs

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Reply with quote  #82 
Tell me how a search of  "container tree pictures" landed me here, but here I am.  Hilarious read. 
Old Ghost, I hope the curse was lifted and your trees are producing lots of normal fruit.

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Cheryl
Chicago, Zone 6a (That's what they say, but it still feels like 5)
Growing:
  Hardy Chicago, Black Mission,
Brunswick, Kadota, Ischia Green, Desert King, Osborne Prolific, Lattarula, Malta Black, Violette de Bordeaux, Texas Everbearing, Beall, Adriatic, Nolo Pink Eyed Lady,  Celeste, Nero 600 m, Violetta Bayernfeing, Marseilles Black VS, Sucrette, Scott's Black, Large Negronne, Croatian, Raspberry Latte, Alma, Longue D'Aout, Pel de Bou, Lloral, Black Triana, Tarantella, Dominick's, Sweet Diana, Bronx Italian Purple, Ciccio Nero, Ronde de Bordeaux (gifted - thank you),  Panache (gifted - thank you) Lyon France (gifted - thank you).

~~~The Addiction is Real~~~
fygmalion

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Reply with quote  #83 
Cheryl,

Thanks for an interesting read resulting from your "bump" of this thread... Search engines are an amazing thing but at the end of the day only reflect the fuzzy logic that was applied to the engine's search algo by the programmer responsible... I have seen some very strange results coming back from a search of a very simply inquiry... Programmer's do have a sense of humor... at times... and at times, it can be out of sync with the world at large...

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Tony - Zone 6A
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